Tech Arts Network

Hi Van,
Another terrific podcast…oh boy I was totally getting, and agreeing with everything being said in it as I was driving to work listening to it, that I was virtually wishing myself to be at a computer already to say I can so relate to the sentiments, and would like to chime in with a story of my own that I feel is relevant. I’m buzzing as it is such a hot topic for me. Please bear with me; I pray this will not appear boring as I recount last week to you.
Thankyou Van/Todd by the way for your time doing this latest installment.
So, I am an audio operator/sound recordist who does a lot of volunteer sound at my church of say 500 or so, and encounter all that you speak of often!. I started my audio career doing broadcast sound 21 years ago just to set the picture, and love it…expecially the mixing music part.
Boy though , I fit the mould of a technical person in that I am passive aggressive, and don’t like talking to people, plus people don’t get me at all just like you said!…
So, a big State conference for all pastors of my church’s network was to be held in our Southern campus. About 1000 attendees were expected and a sound system was being hired as the installed one is on its last legs. I bought in some of my own microphones and was ready to pour my heart and soul into making it great.
I said I would be available to mix the whole lot…I am freelance and so I didn’t accept any work for the day before and the three days of the event as I was keen to put a lot of time in to make it sound and run great. I like to put back in some of what I have learned as a volunteer as I love music and have a heart for the lost. I spent the setup day tuning the hired radio-mikes and setting the crossovers for the speaker system that has been dumped there with all outputs set to full range, equalized the room etc.
First two days of conference went well, but I was feeling a little put off by the lady (let’s call her Jane!) who was given the role of overseeing production and dealing directly with the senior pastor about it. She was standing right beside me at front of house saying things like. “Bill sounds a little muddy…bring the guitar up a bit etc.through-out the whole praise and worship time. I felt this “micro-managing” was un-necessary and for me, really off-putting- I had to break my attention with the mix to hear what she was constantly talking about.
(“Jane” is a skilled vocalist and musical but not at all technical. She mixes a bit to fill in but knows little about what does what- ie understanding of compression or eq etc).
On the morning of the last day one of my children was sick and wasn’t up to going to school, so I realized I would have to take her to the conference for the day. I told people she was not well but would stay with me and was ok but had to take it easy.
The next day I got a text from “Jane”, asking what I wanted to do, stating she could mix it I wanted to stay home…she sounded just a little bit too keen rather than thoughtful for my liking.
I didn’t want to let anyone down and was still keen to do it but for my daughter’s sake said “Ok, you do the morning and I’ll come in in time for the evening session when my wife could take over with my daughter”. I felt a little put out at this stage as I felt I was the person for the job and she wouldn’t be able to do it well.
By lunchtime I got another text saying I don’t have to come in as they have it covered but thankyou for all the time you have put in so far it was much appreciated.
I felt insulted and completely put out. I was ready and wanting to mix and I reacted badly in a passive-aggressive way via return text messages….saying all sorts of stuff that I knew I may regret, such was my state of disappointment. Things like “we all know this isn’t about a sick child…you think I do a bad job and can do better” etc.
The rest of the day I was boiling inside. I got onto Planning Center and declined all the plans that I had already accepted. I also broke down and cried for some time.
I wrote long emails with all sorts of crazy points in them basically saying I give up and will sit in the pew with my wife from now on.
The church went into action and got a pastor who knows me and my OCD ways etc to to call me, saying “We need coffee…now!”. (Do you know of that scenario where the church quickly tells you, you NEED to go for coffee now?! hehe ).
So over coffee it was pointed out to me that I was wrong about “Jane” and it is just her role and she was upset that I was upset about it. She would have been happy to talk about it but I wasn’t as I run from talking about awkward topics, but now I am left embarrassed and with a trail of disaster behind me. I am really not looking forward to facing some of these people, many of them friends, again.
Lord, why did you make me so technical and so socially awkward?!.
Also pointed out to me by my Pastor friend, Jane decided to mix that evening as she had done the morning and it was all set up to go so she thought she could just do it and give me the chance to just go along and enjoy the worship with no responsibilities if I wanted to.
Another good point raised to me by my friend about my insecurity was that I, (and perhaps other technical people?) tend to see themselves as that role as in “Paul the sound person” not just “Paul”.
If that is your identity, it is no surprise that when that identity is challenged, strong reactions and insecurity may occur, as was the case with me.
So now I have to face these people again. I know they will accept me again with no problems, but I still am feeling really bad at this point as I struggle with relationships with non-technical people who do not understand me.
I hope this can be related to by some out there.
Thanks again for a wonderful and so-relevant podcast.
Yours in tech!
Paul.